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Own writings

To remember the future

People have often had some reactions on special, small or bigger, happenings in life that the thinking brain can not find any logical reason for in memories from the past If my reactions are based on my experience, why is there not always experience for my reactions? (Why do I react without experience?) A totally normal situation may make me react different from everyone else. But when I have no experience that should tell me How to react - why do I still react? What do I base my reaction on? Is there any possibility that we can remember our future?


A little girl is playing in the sand. She is happy and enjoys the quietness around her, and the birds are singing from the garden fence only for her. She hears a sound behind her, and it shows to be her mother coming out to look for her. The mother is smiling and in a good mood, and she even notice the new rose that has sponged out during the morning hours, even if it’s in the beginning of autumn. She notices that the little girl has no scarf on, and think it’s not good for her, since the cold air is pretty sharp despite the sunbeams on the house wall. The mother goes inside to find the scarf, and comes out again and put it around the girl’s neck and throat, carefully, with a caring smile on her lips. She waves optimistic to her daughter and goes back into the house again.

The little girl stops playing. She can feel the warmth from the scarf - but her ears don’t hear the birds anymore. It’s as a black cloud has come between her and all around her. Her heart is beating fast and hard, and she doesn’t feel well at all. She can not breathe. She is scared – very scared. But there is nothing there to scare her.

She struggles with the scarf. It’s long and put inside her coat. She has to open it up to get the scarf away, but she knows its necessary to get rid of it, and it has to happen fast. She somehow notices that it is not fasten tight to her throat, But never the less, she is not able to breath before she has taken it of and thrown it away, as far as possible…….

The good feeling from earlier has disappeared, and only a bad black hole is meeting her when she closes her eyes. She doesn’t remember to have experienced anything like this, and still…. Something is trying to come up in her mind; from some were deep, deep inside….. The shivering in her continues for a while. She takes a deep breath, and at last she can hear the birds again…….


The girl grew up. Fist in her 30`ties she got the reasons to react on this scarf’s and tight stuff around throat, wrists and ankles. It all happened 30 years later, but the reaction she had from the beginning. She had the knowledge inside her that this was related to something bad and scary and dangerous, and she reacted upon that. The memory from the future had made her feel exactly how she felt many years later, when someone, out of the need to control, put the arm around her neck and throat, squeezed her wrists and arms.. Then, and only from that first moment when this happens, she had the reason to react on it, as she had done from the very early age…

-own writings
© AriZonaMoon 2006