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Own writings

Change and resistance

Were did I come from? The inner me, the one I was when starting out as a little baby. I was born with my genes, the ones that told how I would become, also as a grown up person. My memory was empty, just waited to get started. And still, as a very small girl, I had knowledge of how life works in the deeper levels.. there inside in the little girl’s core. Knowledge or an insight that most grown up people has forgotten… Also I myself forgot it later. Days and years go by. We are learned that experience changes us. And somehow it does. We collect incidences and memories, and it all fills up our brain and body. But how deep does it all in fact influence on us? When we experience happenings in our life, we think we react out of were we are today, but do we?


…At a certain point in out life, after collecting a huge bunch of experiences of good and bad accidents, we may get an urge to try to understand what really happens in ourselves as a result of our life path. We ask us the questions; what have I learned? What insight have I got? How have I developed? And yes, all the experiences have made me understand a lot, but also it gives me even more to wonder about. And I can see that I somehow have changed, from I was younger and until now. I can figure out how to handle situations out of what I have been through before. I can recognize covered patterns out of sign that I have become to know about. But still, as I search my inner floors, I discover that all my reactions, all my basic ways of thinking, all my instincts, they go back to the beginning. What still makes me, to who I am, at the bottom, is the same that made me to who I was from I was born.

I recognize the little girl and her way of thinking and feeling... Far behind all the knowledge I have collected through life, the basic is still me..the first me..the core in me, that was there from the beginning. And I understand that somehow all our reactions are not only out of evolution, but most of all a way of behave out of who I was born as. Somehow there is a wiseness in the bottom of the soul, that shines through in all ages, and make us to who we are, still at old age. It also tells how we might suppose to react and decide in different matters. A human being is changing yes, but in its core it is resistant.. .. The paradox is that what we use years and years to find out of, to try to understand in this life.. all of it we in fact know from the start. All the important knowledge of being a human, it is all there from the start. We know from the start what we later have to forget, and then again to learn. Our unwavering soul comes into sight.

-own writings-

© AriZonaMoon 2008